"The thing that brought the baby in is exactly what is needed to push the baby out".
Said my first midwife while I was in labour about to give birth to my first child, Ravi.
Yes, she really did advise my husband and I to have sex during first stage of labour!
And we did it!
Baby came out just one hour after.
I want this little story to set the tone of what I want to share with you on this topic.
(And if you'd like to see my uncensored home birth with Ravi—no sex scenes here don't worry— you can see it here).
But now, lets rewind a little and talk about pleasure throughout pregnancy.
To make it clear:
Unless you have been diagnosed with a high risk pregnancy and your health care provider confirms that you have to refrain from orgasms all together because it could cause contractions that can put you and baby at risk...
Pleasure is the best gift you are giving to yourself and your baby. If anything it might lull them back to sleep and flood them with some happy serotonin, oxytocin and dopamine! And it is safe to have an orgasm at any stage of a normal pregnancy.
If you were wondering how can it be safe...
Thanks to the placenta, amniotic sac, and mucus plug covering the cervix, your baby has a protection system that's very specific about what goes in and stays out.
In addition to blocking sperm, your growing baby is protected from coming into contact with a partner's penis or a wand — no matter how deep it may go.
So generally sex and/or self pleasure with a wand can provide both mental and physical benefits, including improving your emotional connection with your partner, sending all the good happy hormones to your baby and relieving stress and tension indoor growing body that pregnancy can create over the passing months.
The more the merrier!
When it comes to the final trimester, and when you are near giving birth, having penetrative sex with ejaculation from your parter can help release prostaglandins which are hormone-like substances found in semen and released by a woman's body during sex.
These prostaglandins help ripen the cervix, which is the softening of the cervix that has to happen in order for dilation to begin and labor to progress.
With the rise of oxytocin that also comes from deep intimacy (the love, warm, fuzzy feeling hormone), this juicy combo of elements may favour a more easeful and natural birth, free from complications and promoting a successful flow of milk after giving birth.
So cultivating a practice of self-pleasure or having recurring intimacy dates with yourself or your parter while you are pregnant are actually considered to be active ways to prepare you for labour and favour an optimal environment for your baby to come into the world.
OK, BUT WHAT TO DO WHEN I DON'T FEEL LIKE HAVING SEX, AT ALL?
You are not alone, this happened during my second pregnancy!
(If you'd like to see the birth of my second son Mani, you can watch it here).
My libido throughout the entire 9 months was long lost and nowhere to be found.
And it makes sense, as ALL our sexual energy is completely invested in creating a new life, not a simple feat!
But what I came to learn is this:
while you may not feel like stepping into a sexual space all the time with your morphing body and swinging hormones...
having a space and time you dedicate to pleasure, self pleasure, intimacy, touch with your parter is highly recommended.
And by all means it does NOT have to be sexual.
There are actually many ways to remain intimate during pregnancy!
Whatever form it takes—cuddles, kisses, stroking, lovemaking— it's important to know that touch and intimacy are huge components of well-being for a mother and a mother-to-be.
Intimacy and touch (both received and self-given) are as important as food and hydration.
You can easily give yourself the gift of touch by finding a few minutes, ideally every day, to connect with your own body with devotion and intention.
Give yourself a body massage / breast massage / yoni massage with an organic oil (have you tried our RITUAL OILS yet?)
The simple commitment to giving yourself purposeful touch creates an instant atmosphere of self love and appreciation for the changing landscape of your body.
If massage isn't your thing, you can boost your oxytocin and honor your body by getting snuggly. Spoon with your partner or have a solo retreat under some blankets.
Finding time to step away from the outside world into a warm nurturing space is a way to telling your body that you appreciate all that it's doing.
CAN I USE YONI EGGS OR YONI WANDS DURING PREGNANCY?
There is not a general rule here because it really depends on the level of confidence and attuning a woman has with her own body, however, we generally recommend that if you have practiced with Yoni Eggs at least 6-12 months prior getting pregnant, you can safely use them (unless your pregnancy is considered high risk), except maybe during the first trimester when things tend to be on the sensitive side.
In case of Yoni Wands, you can use them like any dildo, however you might want to take into account that your vagina and pelvic region go through a massive transformation during this time, so it's important to ask your Yoni what she desires to explore during tese sacred 9-months of gestation.
Does your Yoni desire a crystal? Which one? Glass? Textured or smooth? Thick or thin?
Regarding deep penetration with a Wand, penetrative sex is 100% safe during pregnancy as mentioned before, however it's not recommended to over stimulate with excessive thrusting and harsh pressure on the cervix during this time as it could interfere with the mucus plug present.
You can also try and explore tempos of play, going more gently and slower to allow yourself to really feel this whole new landscape that is alive in your vagina at this time, something that is really supportive for the birthing process too.
Something that has been quite popular among our community and myself is also using our Petite Butt Plugs or any Slim Yoni Wand to ease / find relief with symptoms of haemorrhoids by going for a soft penetration in the anus!
I hope this article gave you a bit more confidence and inspiration to create a nice self love ritual for yourself or with your partner to support you in this magical transition in your life!
If you have anything to add / share or any questions, please do so below in the comment section.