Natural Birth Control: Find Empowerment Through Cycle Awareness

For many of us, the topic of birth control can feel so damn overwhelming.

We’re often warned from a young age that sex equals pregnancy—often times portrayed like a real punishment. So it’s no wonder so many of us jump straight to hormonal birth control without fully understanding the side effects.

I know, because that was my story.

In this post, I’ll share how I broke free from years of relying on the pill and discovered a more holistic way to manage my fertility. I’ll also give you some practical tips and insights if you’re curious about exploring fertility awareness yourself.

My Early Experiences with Hormonal Birth Control

 

I started hormonal birth control at just 12 years old. My mother was legit worried about me potentially becoming pregnant since I lost my virginity very early on, took me to the gynecologist for a prescription of Harmonet. At the time, we both thought it was the only way to prevent pregnancy.

But What I Wish I Had Known...

 

1. Hormonal Disruption
   The pill effectively interrupts communication between the hypothalamus (in the brain) and the ovaries, yikes. If you already have underlying reproductive imbalances, using the pill to mask these issues could make them worse once you stop taking it. Because the brain–womb connection is disrupted, the long-term repercussions will be significant.

2. Pheromone Interference
   The pill can alter your natural scent attraction, which may influence whom you find appealing as a potential partner. Many women report that after discontinuing the pill, they no longer feel compatible with their partners—and in some cases, they even end the relationship.

3. Emotional Side Effects
   Depression, numbness, weight gain, and feelings of disconnection are among the most common complaints women have while on the pill.

If you’re currently on hormonal birth control, it’s essential to recognize these potential impacts. Everyone’s body is different, but being aware is the first step to making informed decisions.

Breaking Free from the Pill

At 21, I finally flushed my pills down the toilet. I was tired of feeling numb, depressed, and fearful of pregnancy—every single day. Once I realized that the most critical window for possible conception each month is only about five to six days, I couldn’t justify taking hormones 24/7.

A Note to Readers

• If you’re thinking about quitting hormonal birth control, consider finding a FAM (Fertility Awareness Method) operator, and going through my course Sacred Yoni and Sacred Cycles (in the making) to understand the way of living and nutrition that can support your transition into normalcy. You’ll want to understand what to expect as your body transitions.
  
  
• Have a plan: Research fertility awareness methods or explore monitoring devices (like the ones I mention below) to help you find your rhythm.

Discovering Fertility Awareness

After ditching the pill, I invested in a fertility monitor called Daysy. This tool helped me chart my basal body temperature and pinpoint my fertile days. It may not seem like a big deal, but for me—a busy university student working multiple jobs—it was a significant financial and emotional investment and it turned out to be one of the most empowering decisions I’ve ever made.

Use the following affiliate links to purchase a Daysy fertility tracker and receive a discount at checkout. For purchases in the EU, use code DaysyEU+318 at Daysy EU to get a 10€ discount. For purchases in the USA, use code DaysyUS+318at Daysy USA to get a 15$ discount. When you use these codes, I earn a commission on each sale.

Practical Tip

Not sure which device might work for you?

Other fertility monitors include TempDrop, Ava Bracelet, and Proov. These tools can be incredibly helpful if you’re coming off hormonal birth control, have irregular cycles, or just need extra reassurance.

However, keep in mind that these devices follow a rhythm-based method, so they’re never going to be 100% accurate—ovulation can’t truly be “predicted.” It happens when it happens, and can even shift from month to month, regardless of how regular your cycle may seem. While fertility monitors are remarkably efficient, they can’t pinpoint the exact day of ovulation with absolute certainty. Ultimately, your own body awareness—through fertility awareness techniques—is the most reliable guide to knowing when you’re ovulating.

 

A Quick Start to Tracking Your Own Fertility

If you’re new to fertility awareness, here are some straightforward steps to get you started:

1. 1. Basal Body Temperature (BBT)

      • Use a basal thermometer to take your temperature first thing in the morning, before getting out of bed.
      • Record your readings on a chart or in an app; you can buy basal thermometers at most pharmacies.
      • Printable charts are available here: Fertility Awareness Method of Birth Control.
        

   2. Cervical Mucus Observations

      • Pay attention to changes in your vaginal discharge.
      • When it’s egg-white and stretchy, it typically signals your fertile window.
        
        

   3. Cervical Positioning

      • With clean fingers, gently check if your cervix is sitting high or low, and whether it’s soft or firm.
      • If it feels lower and softer than usual, it’s likely an indication that you’re in your fertile window.
        
        

   4. Track Daily

      • Consistency is crucial. By recording your observations every day, you’ll start to see patterns that reveal when you’re fertile—and when you’re not.

Overcoming Fear and Shame

One of the biggest hurdles was shaking the deeply rooted belief that pregnancy was some kind of “punishment.” That fear loomed over me every time I was intimate with someone. Letting go of it required both time and a significant shift in perspective.

What Helped Me Heal

• Education
  Learning the science behind my cycle gave me a sense of control. Once I understood how ovulation and fertile windows actually work, I realized that pregnancy isn’t an inevitable outcome of every sexual encounter.

• Self-Trust
  By tuning in to my body’s cues—such as changes in cervical mucus and mood—and using a fertility monitor at first, I became more confident in identifying when I was fertile and when I wasn’t. That knowledge eased my anxiety and helped me trust my body more deeply.

• Open Communication
  Being transparent with my partner about each phase of my cycle—and explaining how I relied on the device to learn my own patterns—lifted a huge weight off both of us. Aligning our understanding of my cycle relieved many of my fears and ultimately strengthened our intimacy.

If you’ve ever felt shame or fear around your fertility, know that you’re not alone. It’s possible to reframe pregnancy as a natural, sometimes beautiful possibility—something you can choose if or when you’re ready.

Transforming Fear into Celebration

Once I started reliably tracking my cycle, sex became a celebration rather than a source of worry. My husband and I discuss which phase of my cycle I’m in. If I’m in my fertile window, we decide together whether to use the withdrawal method or just explore other forms of intimacy (butt work anyone?).

Reader Insight

If you’re exploring your sexuality with multiple partners, be mindful of STIs. Barrier protection (condoms) can still play a huge role, regardless of where you are in your cycle.

In a committed relationship with clear communication and trust, fertility awareness can transform intimacy into a deeper, more connected experience.

The Magic of Cycle Tracking

Over the years, I learned to read the signs my body gives me:

• Physical Sensations: Feeling a slight (but not terrible) tension in the ovary that’s releasing an egg.
• Mood Shifts: Noticing more energy or heightened libido around ovulation. A “wet” sensation in my underwear when mucus is more abundant.
• Subtle Emotional Clues: Recognizing when I need rest versus when I’m feeling more social.

I reached a point where I no longer needed any device to know I was in my fertile window. But that was a gradual process. If you’re new to this or have irregular cycles, fertility monitors and apps can be a tremendous help in guiding you until you feel confident in your own observations.

A Word on Partner Dynamics

Sexual and reproductive responsibility shouldn’t just be on one partner. In an ideal world:

• Women would be intimately aware of their cycles.
• Men would learn to control their ejaculation if pregnancy isn’t desired.
• Both partners would have open, honest communication about fertility, STI status, and family planning.

Remember, it’s perfectly valid to ask for emotional and practical support from your partner when you’re transitioning off hormonal birth control or trying out a new fertility tracking method.

In Case of “Oops”

Even with diligent tracking, mistakes happen—or the heat of the moment just takes over. Here are some herbal-based “oops” solutions people sometimes use (again, please consult a healthcare professional for personalized advice):

1. Carrot Seed Tincture (Queen Anne’s Lace)

   • Some women take three dropperfuls, three times a day, for three days after an unprotected encounter during the fertile window.
   • It’s believed to help prevent implantation of the egg in the uterus.
     
     

2. Neem Oil

   • Some women swear by neem oil for its contraceptive properties, but it has a very strong odor.
   • Neem capsules are an alternative if you want to avoid the smell, though I haven’t personally tried them.
     
     

3. Falling Pregnant Anyway?

   • If you do end up pregnant, I’ll offer a separate resource in another post. In general, relying on herbal methods to end a pregnancy is complex and often not successful. Please consult a qualified medical professional and discuss all options available to you.

Again, use these herbs with caution and always do thorough research. Herbal methods are not standardized, can vary in potency, and may interact with other factors in ways we don’t fully understand.

Conclusion: Empowerment Through Awareness

My journey from fearful teen to empowered adult has taught me that our bodies aren’t ticking time bombs waiting to get pregnant. Rather, they’re sophisticated, self-regulating systems that deserve our trust and care.

Key Takeaways:

1. Educate Yourself: Learn about fertility awareness methods or natural family planning.
2. Experiment with Tools: Devices like Daysy, TempDrop, and Ava can be invaluable when transitioning off the pill or dealing with irregular cycles.
3. Tune In Consistently: Observe your daily patterns—temperature, cervical mucus, and even mood changes—to see what works best for you.
4. Communicate Openly: Talk with your partner about your cycle and your intentions around pregnancy.
5. Trust Your Body: Healing from the fear of unwanted pregnancy often starts with trusting your body’s wisdom.

If you have questions about fertility awareness, natural birth control options, or want to share your own story, I’d love to hear from you in the comments below.

Disclaimer: The information in this post is based on my personal experiences and research. It is not intended to replace professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of a qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition or birth control method.